Chasing Happiness
by thexxit
Summary: Carol looks for happiness with someone, weighing her options.


Title: Chasing Happiness

Author: thexxit

Rating: K - good for everyone

Category: TWD: Carol/Daryl/Axel

Spoilers: Everything up to episode 3x10 - Home

Disclaimer: These characters are not my creation. I don't profit from them, but I do hope to share my love for them with others.

Summary: Carol looks for happiness with someone. I really do believe in Carol and Daryl, this is just something that popped into my head.

Archive: Okay anywhere as long as my name is attached.

It feels so strange, she thinks. Before this new world, Ed always kept close watch over her. She couldn't look at another man let alone speak to him without fearing his wrath.

Ed was once a decent man, though maybe not one she would have married if it had not been for Sophia. He was convincing and nice and got her into bed, and six weeks later when she found out she was pregnant, she thought the only thing to do was to marry him. That began her twelve years of hell. But every moment was worth it because of her daughter. Because of Sophia.

In this new world though, Ed was gone. Sophia was gone, though that tugged at her heart every single day. In this new world, she wasn't the victim, she was a strong fighter. She knew how to use a gun and shoot to kill. She voiced her opinion, loudly if no one would listen. She smiled and joked and teased. She made friends, she made a new family. She loved and was loved. If only she had Sophia.

Daryl had become so dear to her. She thought of how he searched for Sophia, never giving up hope. And when she was found, she thought of how it had broken him. He was a good man, he was brave, he was noble, he was handsome, but he was a victim, like she had been.

Carol thought they had a connection. She thought that she saw a spark of something when she flirted with him, and he became embarrassed. Embarrassed not because he thought it was inappropriate, but maybe because he felt something more than just harmless flirting? Or was she a sister to him? Had she replaced the family he was missing? Or was it something more? Was it the same kind of stirring that she felt when she thought of him?

When he didn't return from the Woodbury expedition with the others, her heart stopped beating. When Rick told her he left voluntarily to be with his brother, her heart broke in half. When she realized he was caught in a cycle of abuse and wasn't lucky enough to find a way out like she had, her heart wept for him. But she understood. She understood only too well.

His heart wasn't free for her. Maybe it would never be. Daryl was a simple man with simple morals. Family before anything. Never abandon your family. Merle was his real family, the rest were substitutes. And an abusive manipulator like Merle could be very convincing.

She said a silent prayer for him, and wished him luck. She knew it would be hard for him to leave his brother, and she was honestly unsure if he would ever come back unless Merle was invited too, and that was out of the question. She wished for his happiness, she mourned for what wasn't, and she pulled out her newfound courage and she went on, with a smile.

Someone else had caught her attention anyway. After an… interesting first interaction, Axel was becoming a friend. He volunteered to work with her as often as he could, even peeling potatoes and sweating over a hot pot of soapy water washing clothes. He asked her questions, she told him about Sophia. He told her about never having children but wanting them, he told her funny stories about prison life. He told her she was smart, she was pretty, she was talented. Not so bluntly, but by his actions, and god help her but it felt good. It felt amazing for a man to so obviously see her in such a way. It felt terrific to be put on a pedestal. She felt the heat in her cheeks when she caught him gazing at her.

Part of her felt a sense of loyal devotion to Daryl. She'd practically fallen in love with him over the winter and the months in this prison. But her rational mind saw that he was unattainable. He probably didn't have those same feelings, and suddenly, here was someone who did have those feelings. Her mind reeled with confusion at night. Could she reciprocate Axel's obvious want? What would Daryl think?

But Daryl wasn't there. If their relationship was so important to him, he would have come back. He would have at least come to say goodbye. Perhaps it was time to close another chapter in her life. She could be happy, why not grab it with both hands and hold on tight? Tomorrow any one of them could be dead. In this world, they had to take advantage of every moment because it could very well be their last.

Tomorrow, she decided. Tomorrow they were going to work together on fitting the walkway with some added protection so it could be used as a shooting post in the event of an attack. If Axel flirted with her then, she would flirt back. She wouldn't hide her reaction from him. If he reacted positively towards her, she would ask him to go for a walk in the evening, after dinner. She would stand close to him, learn more about him, and share more about herself. And if he touched her, or if he tried to kiss her, she would touch and kiss him back.

She would enact this plan, and she wouldn't feel guilty for it. This world wasn't so different after all. The dynamics between people ebbed and flowed, and every choice had a consequence. She had to accept the decisions of others in how they lived their lives, just as she was responsible for her own.

Tomorrow she would reach out for happiness and see where it lead her. With her mind made up and with another prayer for Daryl's safety, she closed her eyes and slept.


End file.
